financial slavery

When she thinks of financial slave the image of pathetic guys who have to give up their money to a goddess comes to mind. Some high powered business man who, instead of paying for things for his children and wife, spend all of his money on some woman so that he can feel validated. deidre doesn’t claim to understand the fetish, or the need which drives it, completely.


As strange as it is for her to think of herself as one, deidre is (among other things) a financial slave as well. It’s in a different way of course. deidre works for Master’s household, both to give tribute to Him as well as to cover His expenses for her presence at His feet. The need that is fed by doing so is different than the one that is fed by the boys who have their phone mistresses and chose when to pay, how to pay, and who to pay.


Before someone out there says, "…but deidre you DO have a choice…" she knows that ultimately she has a choice too. she can choose to work for Him or to leave Him, therefore it’s not really a choice. Yes, you have choices too. You can continue to live, or shoot yourself in the head. It’s the same thing. This entry isn’t about arguing about levels of slavery or choice etc. What it’s really about is Christmas and gifts.


As a financial slave deidre has no money except that which Master allows her. she no longer has credit cards or bank accounts in her name. Everything that she earns goes to Him. Because of this it’s difficult to be able to give Master things for Christmas or His birthday.


Last year she took a special photo and framed it for Him. This year she’s decided to make a painting to hang over the fireplace. Now, deidre is not an artist. she can be fairly creative when it comes to her use of words, or to taking photographs, but she is not visually creative. she took a watercolor painting class back in high school and there is still a horrid painting of what is supposed to be an old barn against a sunset sky hanging in her mother’s home, but it’s hanging there only because…well, deidre doesn’t actually know why mom put it up. It’s a really bad attempt at art.


When Master was gone on His last trip He left her some money which she used to pick up some supplies for this creation of hers. she bought canvas, paint, brushes, etc. Buying the stuff was easy. Coming up with an idea of what to paint was not. deidre knew what colors she wanted to use. she was hoping to use some of the same colors that are on the couch cushions and pillows.



Mixing colors is harder than deidre would’ve thought though. Yes, she can make purple, or orange, but getting them to be just the right shade is difficult. So deidre gave up on the idea of it being perfect.

Then Master found a photo of something that He really liked in the most recent issue of National Geographic. He went online to try to order a print of it, but couldn’t find it anywhere. deidre’s decided to paint Him something similar.

she’s half way finished with it now. It’s hard to find time to work on it when Master isn’t home and deidre isn’t working so it’s taking longer than expected as well but she plans on giving it to Him before we leave for Atlanta. she really hopes that He will like it for what it is rather than enjoying it solely because it’s something that His slave made for Him.

He’s told her over and over again that she doesn’t need to give Him anything. He enjoys each and every bit of herself that she gives Him on a daily basis, but when you give yourself every day it becomes commonplace, no longer as special as it is if only given on occasion. If deidre gave only herself to Him for Christmas or His birthday in the same way that she does every other day there is nothing to mark those days as extra ordinary for Him.

Besides, if deidre really is the natural slave that she seems to be, with submission itself being more of an instinct than a conscious act, the it’s no more of a gift than breathing or pissing. It just is and she wants to be able to give more than that as a way to recognize all that He has given to her. If it wasn’t for Him deidre may have never had all of those fake layers chiseled away so that she could be who she really is with no more pretending. He’s given her herself and that is so much more valuable than anything she could ever give in return.