stroke your prehensile spermatophore-depositing tube for deidre
Because of today's news release about catching film of a live giant squid for the first time deidre's been doing research on the fascinating creatures. she loves calamari, it's just about her favorite food, and she would be in tastebud heaven if she actually had hundreds of pounds of squid just waiting to be eaten, but the creatures themselves just seem amazing even if their taste is disregarded.
Scientists have been hoping to study these beautiful creatures for years. Giant Squid carcasses have washed up on beaches or been found in the stomachs of sperm whales, but live ones have rarely been seen by those other than fisherman. The part that really pisses deidre off is that they finally have the opportunity to bring one to the surface and what do they do? Do they tag it and release it back into the ocean? No. Do they attach a camera to it somehow to record what it does? No. They kill it! They have one for the first time and they just butcher it.
Anyway, as deidre was looking up articles she came across one in wikipedia. The following paragraph made her laugh. More specifically the italicized part of the first sentence.
The reproductive cycle of the giant squid is still a great mystery, but what has been learned so far is both bizarre and fascinating; male giant squid are equipped with a prehensile spermatophore-depositing tube, or penis, of over 3 feet (90 cm) in length, which extends from inside the animal's mantle and apparently is used to inject sperm-containing packets into the female squid's arms — how exactly the sperm then is transferred to the egg mass is a matter of much debate, but the recent recovery in Tasmania of a female specimen having a small subsidiary tendril attached to the base of each of its eight arms could be a vital clue in the solution of this enigma. The giant squid lacks the hectocotylus used for reproduction in many other cephalopods.
deidre is reading this info outloud to Master, stumbling over the words as one does when reading something for the first time and she gets to the part that says "or penis" Well, damn it! why didn't they just say "penis" in the first place? It would've been a whole lot easier and (not that she'd ever be saying this to a giant squid) it sounds so much better to say, "deidre begs to be allowed to suck Your penis" than, "deidre begs to be allowed to worship Your prehensile spermatophore-depositing tube" Somehow the first one just rolls off of the tongue so much more easily.
