a baby with Master
"Do you ever fantasize about having a baby? Is that something that you have ever discussed with Master?"
deidre spent the first 24 years of her life wanting a child. A sweet little girl who would be Madilyn Alexis or a beautiful baby boy who would be Tristan Gawain. After many years of trying with her ex she finally did get pregnant and was incredibly happy. It was what she had dreamed of since she was a little girl.
she made doctor’s appointments, stopped smoking and drinking, started eating very healthily and even forced her ex to clean the litter box just to make sure that nothing would harm her little baby.
Then it came time for the first sonogram. N. took the morning off work so that he could come with deidre. she got undressed put on the paper gown and got up onto the exam table.
The doctor came in and did all of his normal prelim stuff, then it was finally time. He put some of that funky gel stuff on the sonogram instrument, had deidre spread her legs and put her heels in the little metal things so that he could have easy access and slid the instrument up inside.
deidre and N. could see the screen and the picture but couldn’t make anything out. After a few moments the doctor finally said “I can’t seem to find it” moved the instrument around some more and then finally pulled it out. By this point deidre knew. Something was wrong. Her heart was breaking.
The doctor explained that there was no fetus. Somehow her body was going through all of the motions of being pregnant, but the fetus must’ve been absorbed by the baby because there was something wrong with it.
He told deidre that in the next few weeks her body would be shedding everything and she would have a miscarriage. There would be no reason to go to the ER unless the pain was really bad.
Within a few days it happened, but until then she had somehow hoped that the doctor had been wrong, or made a mistake and that she would carry through with the pregnancy to have her longed for beautiful child.
Things weren’t ever quite the same after that. It took deidre over a year to get over her loss. she didn’t show it outwardly, but every once in a while she would just break down.
Then one day she went to the grocery store and found this poor little shit covered flea ridden 5 week old Siamese kitten to take home, love and cherish. She was so small she even needed to be bottle fed. Moonshadow filled that hole in deidre’s heart that had been left by her miscarriage.
Life as a slave, devoting herself totally to Master, and keeping Him as her one and only focus sort of rules out the possibility of having or trying for another child.
When deidre was pregnant the second time, she fantasized about it, but then realized that it really wouldn’t work. Since then she has no desire to have a child, only to be Master’s slave and to please Him with her total focus where it belongs.
Firstly, Master has never wanted one. He’s just not the Fatherly type (the perfect Daddy for deidre, but not really paternal).
Secondly, with a child in the house who needs to nurse, who has to have diapers changed, who cries, and needs to be held and nurtured, Master would become second. And that kind of defeats the purpose of being a Master and having a slave. Not to mention how her life would change in other ways. she would basically have to revert to being a submissive in the bedroom, or when the child is at school, and a mom the rest of the time. No more being naked, no more bowing, no more speaking in the third person or getting down on her knees to worship Master at any point during the day that He desires
