Friday, December 29, 2006

Going Home

Master, the panting dogs, K and deidre all head back down to Florida tomorrow afternoon. It'll be so good to see MoonShadow and Xavia again, as well as to load up the iPod with music. deidre realized this morning that she can actually download some of the things that she's wanted to right onto her iPod. Now she can listen to all of the recordings at Dirty Girl Radio as well as Miss Isabella's special wet dreams recording. she's been wanting to do these for a while, but it's not very slavelike to just sit down in front of the computer, hogging it so that she can listen to sexy women. Especially when Master has things to do that actually accomplish something.

K will only be there until Tuesday and then things will settle back into normality for deidre. she's missed it. After only a few days here she began to wonder what she was so excited about in the first place. When she's here she can't be deidre. she's C**** a slightly quirky, young woman dating a 53 year old man. she's constantly on guard making sure that she's speaking in 1st person, that she's calling Master by His name rather than Master and looking for little opportunities when K is in the bathroom or something to remind Master that she hasn't forgotten her place. Most of the time she's running around in nothing but a pair of knee-highs so when K comes home she has to run into the bedroom and find something normal to put on.

Considering her recent writings about domestic incarceration deidre sure has been doing a lot of socializing. she thinks she's about socialized out which means that she may be a bit more reclusive than usual not only in real life but here too.

In just a few weeks deidre will be flying north to work with isabellaval for the first time. she's so incredibly excited and can't wait to see what the two of Us/us come up with. It's going to be awesome.

It's strange that missa (AKA bella) and deidre occasionally are thinking on the exact same wavelength. Last night deidre was feeling a little bummed, thinking about how Master is her only real connection to something outside of herself and feeling the loss of a sister. When He first proposed the idea of a second slave deidre felt angry and hurt. she couldn't help but feel that maybe she wasn't good enough for Him and the last thing she wanted was another girl with whom she'd have to compete. That was just over 2 years ago. Now deidre wants a sister to share her life with, to giggle with, cry with, snuggle with, make lousy puns with and create super silly girly things that Master just wouldn't (want to) understand. she'd envisioned spending the rest of her life at Master's feet with missa right next to her. Now deidre looks at that spot, and it just feels cold and empty.

deidre keeps hanging on to this hope, as selfish as it is, that the years will go by and eventually the day will come when missa is able to commit herself again the way she really wants to, and that she'll be able to come here and once again offer herself up to Master. deidre wants more than anything for missa to save herself for Master, but this girl also knows that's not very realistic. No one should be forced to go that long without another person to complete them, to love them, take them, spank them. deidre heart is in limbo wanting both to hold onto the hope and wanting to release it, and missa along with it. Geesh. Sometimes life is hard.

Hopefully the cats are still alive when deidre gets home. she has prezzies for them, and love and snuggles. The only problem is that MoonShadow hates K. she hates Him with a passion. When K is at the beach house MS is bitch kitty from hell. Picture Linda Blair as a Siamese cat and you begin to get the idea. Poor kitty still holds a grudge from when K took her uterus and her claws.

Now, deidre's off to pack up all of the stuff We/we're taking with Us/us.