Sunday, May 07, 2006

It’s now less than 4 months until deidre’s next birthday when she turns 28. 28!!! OMG. That number seems so big, and way too close to 30. deidre feels too young to be turning 28. 28 is like ‘mom’ age, in fact deidre can remember when her mom was 28. deidre is terrified that when she hits 30 she’s going to flip out just like her mom did. Is age paranoia hereditary?

It IS just a number right?!? It’s not the gray hair, or the wrinkles or the gravity starting to actually work that freak her out, it’s that invisible divider line that separates the first 29.99999 years from the next ___ years. It’s the fact that deidre will be past the stage of growing up, and into the stage of getting older. she’ll be no longer heading away from infancy but toward death.

Wait a minute. 30. Now that deidre looks at it a little differently, it’s really just another few years toward her sexual peak. she’s been waiting to see what the hell a peak is like when she already spends all day playing with herself, fucking her little holes, leaving cunt juice marks over the towel protecting the bed, moping up her pussy puddles from the floor (usually with her tongue – terrazzo is wonderful!) and THEN, when E/everyone else is done with her, Master gets to have His treats too. OK, lots of times He has her first thing, or in the middle, but somehow nights are always there waiting so that deidre can be His and only His once again.

Looking at it that way 30 doesn’t seem so bad, and 35 seems even better!