Yesterday Morning

she had no coffee but managed to get up and get herself ready for the grocery store without it. Yes people, miracles can happen. The store was crowded, and it took everything deidre had not to start running over people that were being idiots.

deidre got everything on her list, and then realized after Master paid and We/we were in the parking lot, that she forgot to put whipping cream on the list. Freaking caffeine addiction. Luckily Master didn’t mind going back later to get it for her.

deidre was excited because she was going to be grinding up a shit load of cranberries. she had gotten a nice big thing of coffee at the store and could make some up, hot and steamy. Master left to run some secret errand that deidre’s not allowed to ask about, and so deidre put on Christmas music.

The KitchenAid was set up with the meat grinder attachment and deidre started grinding up her berries. she was sipping her coffee singing along to Harry Connick Jr when the KitchenAid started going spastic! All of the sudden deidre’s kitchen seemed like a war zone. The grinder attachment started spinning wildly so deidre grabbed a hold of it which in turn caused the base of the machine to start rotating. It was like watching a film in slow motion…the base turned toward the coffee maker…the base hit the coffee maker…the coffee maker moved toward the edge of the counter…the coffee maker, with 10 freshly brewed cups of hot coffee in the pot fell over the edge of the counter…the coffee maker crashed onto the floor…

This all took less than 30 seconds. deidre managed to turn off the KitchenAid and look around at what used to be her pretty white kitchen and dining room. There was now partially ground cranberries, coffee, coffee grounds, glass, and plastic pieces on the counter, floor, cabinets and walls. The lifeless carcass of what used to be deidre’s coffee maker was lying in the middle, beyond hope.

Needless to say, deidre was not very happy. she’s not the type of person who normally screams out curse words when upset, but if there was a time to do it, yesterday was it. Any sailor would’ve been proud to hear the expletives coming from deidre’s mouth with such force and venom. It was truly a beautiful thing, but it didn’t change the fact that deidre’s coffee maker was dead.

As deidre was cleaning up the mess she started to think that an incident like this must mean something (other than the fact that deidre shouldn’t use the KitchenAid near any other important appliance) Was it a sign? Was this going to be a horrible holiday season for deidre? Was this just the first bad thing to happen of many? Was there going to be a terrible accident in front of a Starbucks involving a cranberry truck? Or maybe while listening to The Cranberries and drinking coffee? What did it all mean?

Then deidre realized that she was just over-analyzing things again and it probably meant nothing. Now that that coffee maker was out of the way she had more counter space and the whole incident woke her up much more quickly and effectively than the entire pot of coffee could have anyway.

Now deidre is sitting here drinking coffee that the neighbors (who got her drunk last night) were kind enough to bring over. It’s good and just one more thing that deidre is thankful for.