Well, why not?

“I think that life is simpler than we tend to think. We look for answers and more answers. But there are no answers. Things happen in life, good things and bad. People say why did it happen to me? Well, why not? Some people win the lottery, and others die in a car crash. It happens, and there is nothing we can do about it. The universe doesn’t care what happens to you.”

- Nando Parrado survivor of 1972 airplane crash in the Andes Mountains on which the book and movie Alive was based

Breaking up is hard to do....

With all of the potential sister slaves that deidre and Master have been through We/we’ve run across quite a few methods of terminating the connection. These include the most common which involved the potential sister just disappearing to the less common ‘never show up at the airport’ method and pretty much everything in between. This most recent termination was actually one of the most honest, kind, and when it boils down to it wonderful ones so far. Of course, deidre happened to really like a, but it’s so refreshing to see people behaving like the adults we are supposed to be. Here’s part of what a. said in her note:

I like you... and I know I would fall in love with you VERY quickly and easily... but my feelings for Master Lee are not at all the same. He deserves someone who thinks of him non-stop... and can’t wait to see or hear from him... I found myself thinking that way about you... but not him. I didn’t think it was fair to keep talking/pursuing this relationship.... he deserves more then what I think I can give him. If I came to visit or relocate.. it would have been for you... a slave should feel more then that for her Master... so I wanted to be up front before any more feelings/time was invested on your part. Both of you have been through too much for me not to be 110% there with you BOTH.... not just one.

This would pretty much be deidre’s best break up ever. Why can’t everyone be more like this?

A Few Rhetorical Questions

Can a slave really see another pet serving their Owner and feel anything less than happy that He is pleased? Does it matter who puts the smile on His face or spring in His step as long as it is there? How can the presence another, kneeling at His feet, increasing the perfection of His household, inspire anything but deeper love for both the Master and the other slave?

Discovering herself

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Master allowed deidre to chat with a very nice submissive girl from collarme last night. deidre didn’t understand at first why He wanted her to speak with slave k. slave k has a daughter and Master does not want children in His house.

The main topic of conversation was, of course, slave k’s daughter. Slave k is being sent away from her current home because she no longer gets a long with her Owner of several years. she’s desperate because she has nowhere to go once she leaves His home. Finding a Master as a slave, if you aren’t too picky, is much easier without a child. Slave k had recently decided that perhaps in order fulfil her destiny as a slave she would have to put her 5 year old up for adoption.

Woah. Wait a minute here. deidre can understand an abortion, or if one is against abortion, giving up the child at birth, but to just throw away a child after 5 years of being that child’s mother, feeding her, bathing her, caring for her, hearing her call you "mommie"

How could Master even consider taking someone with that kind of baggage into His household? Not that baggage is THAT big of a deal. Everyone has some but the results down the road could be disastrous.

At one point during the conversation slave k asked deidre what this girl thought she should do. It’s a hard question to answer in an way that doesn’t make it sound as if deidre thought slave k was out of her mind, but it’s not deidre’s place to judge other’s actions. Others could easily feel the same sort of shock about some of the things that deidre has done to be with Master.

k:so what should i do about my daughter?
slave_deidre : that is your decision.
slave_deidre : not something that deidre can give you advice on
slave_deidre : if you believe that you were meant to submit...
slave_deidre : and that you can only do so without her
slave_deidre : then that leaves you choosing between submission and your daughter
slave_deidre : either way you sacrifice something.
k: yes
k: yes i know
slave_deidre : Also you will have to consider how you might feel down the road if you do give her up.
slave_deidre : will you always wonder what she's doing?
slave_deidre : if her new parents love her
k: yes i think i would and not be able to serve fully
slave_deidre : one day you might come to regret the choice and by then there will be no turning back.
slave_deidre : then resentment toward your Owner will build up and undermine the relationship.
slave_deidre : however if you think you can give her up with no feelings of guilt, and totally detach yourself from the last 5 years that's a different story.
k: i dont think i could
k: well that might be better
k: for me to keep her

Obviously slave k wasn’t yet considering adoption seriously and she hadn’t spent much time thinking about it. deidre realized afterward that Master had deidre talk to slave k simply because He knew that deidre could help slave k sort out her thoughts.

That thought led to deidre realizing that as she sits here looking at profiles on the net, chatting with girls on IM or on the phone she connects with some of them on a level that she never realized. deidre isn’t just here without affect upon those outside of His house. Even the lightest leaf falling onto the water causes ripples when no one is watching. We all affect others in ways that we never imagine. We inspire emotion, thought, and action. Even casual words tossed carelessly here and there can do so. Perhaps deidre should start thinking a bit more about what she has to say before she does so.

deidre’s been doing some thinking lately. Actually for quite a while she’s been wondering about something. ravenna_amorosa asked her once "If you could choose only one, would you rather be loved or owned?"

deidre met Master and learned basically everything that she knows about the lifestyle from Him. What if she only did that because she happened to fall in love with Him? What if the only reason that deidre is a slave is because that was what she needed to be in order to be with Him? If the relationship is based only on love (gee in the normal world that sounds perfect) then what happens if one day that love withers and dies? Master tells her that He is never releasing her from His collar. He will never let her go. If she’s no longer inspired by love to be His slave then what will that make her? An empty loveless shell of a former want to be slave?

Of course deidre doesn’t really see this happening. she can’t imagine her love for Master doing anything but getting stronger so this is all hypothetical. Sometimes her brain just wanders off on strange paths.

Gosh, this is depressing. Let’s move on to something else.

How about pussy? deidre wants some. Very badly. she’s opening it up for volunteers. If you or someone you know would love to stop by for a few days of deidre devouring you please respond. you don’t even have to be a slave or a submissive. Just please be over the age of 18, younger than…oh…40ish, disease free, and preferably sane.

deidre’s Callers talk about going to massage parlors and getting their dicks stroked along with the massage. Perhaps deidre could call a masseuse up and just lick her up and down after the "work" part is over. Hell, fuck the massage, just let deidre eat some cunt.

she wants nice, hot, slick, juicy cunt. The kind that’s hungry, insatiable, so that deidre can wear herself and you out just with her tongue, lips, teeth and fingers. she wants to spread you open and tease, licking and tasting for hours keeping you on the edge until your muscles are quivering from anticipation. she wants to get you so worked up that your juice is flowing freely out of your sweet little sex hole and over your asshole so that she can lick that hot little puckered entrance. she wants to feel your body bucking beneath her as she licks you through orgasm after orgasm. When you’re covered in tears, sweat and your own juices she wants to take her time to explore every part of your beautiful female body touching, caressing, kissing and tasting you in a thousand different ways, finding each spot that makes you moan, and introducing you to pleasures that you’ve never known. You will be consumed and when we both fall asleep from exhaustion we will do so knowing that once we wake up we can begin it all over again.

a knight in shining armor or ?

Vanilla guy : I am so sorry
slave_deidre : for what?
Vanilla guy : reading your journal
slave_deidre : you're sorry for reading it?
Vanilla Guy : you deserve so much more out of life
Vanilla Guy : I feel so sad now
slave_deidre : well i'm sorry that you see it that way
slave_deidre : i'm not sure i understand why it's so sad.
Vanilla Guy : because I went back and read between the lines
slave_deidre : i didn't think that i wrote anything there.
Vanilla Guy : You wrote everything there
slave_deidre : oh. ok.
slave_deidre : i'm not sure what you are thinking you are reading between the lines, but there is nothing about my life to be sad about.
slave_deidre : what's sad is that there are so many people out there who look their entire lives for someone else to be complete with and they never find it.
Vanilla Guy : true..but you don't need someone else to be complete
slave_deidre : you do when you are a slave.
Vanilla Guy : I don't see you as a slave
slave_deidre : or when you are a Master
slave_deidre : then you don't see me.
Vanilla Guy : and I hope you don't take this the wrong way...
slave_deidre : of course not
Vanilla Guy : but I see you as someone who was manipulated and taken advantage of ... and I wish there was something I could do about it
slave_deidre : hmmmm.
slave_deidre : that's interesting.
slave_deidre : others have said the same thing
Vanilla Guy : I didn't feel that way until I read your journal
Vanilla Guy : I was glad that you were happy
slave_deidre : but i am still happy.
Vanilla Guy : I never read the details about what happened
slave_deidre : what happened with what?
Vanilla Guy : you were preyed upon
Vanilla Guy : you had no chance
slave_deidre : lol
Vanilla Guy : and it makes me sad
slave_deidre : now you are not only attacking my lifestyle CHOICE but my intelligence as well.
slave_deidre : just pointing that out. I'm not offended.
Vanilla Guy : I'm not attacking you...just pointing out what I read
Vanilla Guy : and I would bet you any reasonable amount of money that a professional therapist would agree with me
Vanilla Guy : I'm sorry
slave_deidre : don't be sorry.
slave_deidre : i'm not
Vanilla Guy : you deserve more
Vanilla Guy : so much more
slave_deidre : more than what? complete happiness? more than being loved by a wonderful man? more than having every single need met and just about every single one of my desires?
Vanilla Guy : I am going to have someone read your journal if you don't have any objections
slave_deidre : go for it.
slave_deidre : it's public
slave_deidre : and i am always welcoming of any opinion that is not presented negatively
slave_deidre : meaning - be nice even in criticism
Vanilla Guy : I know
Vanilla Guy : I just feel bad for you now
Vanilla Guy : I feel deep sorrow for you
slave_deidre : well you shouldn't
Vanilla Guy : deep sorrow
slave_deidre : what exactly did you read?
slave_deidre : which part of my diary?
Vanilla Guy : makes me wish I could just hold you
Vanilla Guy : the early times
slave_deidre : the early times?
slave_deidre : like before April of 04?
slave_deidre : I was very confused at that time.
Vanilla Guy : no comment
slave_deidre : ok then.
slave_deidre : well, i assure you that i don't need rescuing
slave_deidre : and i am perfectly happy
slave_deidre : but your concern is sweet
Vanilla Guy : my heart actually hurts...aches...it just makes me want to cry it hurts so bad
slave_deidre : i'm sorry honey.
slave_deidre : it shouldn't be hurting at all.
slave_deidre : i guess i just don't really understand why this is so heartbreaking for you.
Vanilla Guy : because I care about you
Vanilla Guy : you will always have a piece of my heart
slave_deidre : i understand that part.
slave_deidre : what i don't understand is why this new information, whatever it may be, is so hard for you.
Vanilla Guy : It gave me more info than I had before and made me see things in a different light
slave_deidre : evidently i just don't understand.
slave_deidre : oh well.
Vanilla Guy : I wish I could let you see what I see and the way I see it
slave_deidre : and i feel the same.
Vanilla Guy : Until tonight...I thought you were lucky to find Lee
slave_deidre : i am.
Vanilla Guy : I don't feel that way any longer

He really is just a nice guy, but deidre doesn’t understand where this need to rescue girls who are perfectly happy comes from. No signs of abuse are present. deidre is fairly healthy emotionally if you excuse the occasional loneliness that settles in when Master is away or brief depression episodes now and then that she works through. she certainly is healthy physically. why is it that some people just refuse to see that there really is nothing "between the lines"? deidre knows that these "knights in shining armor" will always be there waiting to "rescue" slaves and submissives, and there’s pretty much no point in trying to explain what should be obvious. It’s just so frustrating. deidre wishes they would all just take that desire to help and apply it to something or someone that really needs it.

Forgot some stuff

Seeing a comment from celticslave made deidre realize that she forgot to write about the things that Master brought back with Him. First there was a fabric swatch smelling like 2 sweet little slave girls from the material that deidre’s corset is being made with. she loves it and can’t wait to wear it (the corset – not the swatch). Woohoo!

Then, also from celticslave, was a beautiful New Mexican dream catcher that is now hanging in the guest bedroom

Master brought her back some stuff too. The first is a bag of rocks. Not just any kind of rock though. It’s 6 polished stones that are some kind of purple agate. Purple is deidre’s favorite color so these are just about the best rocks ever, well, ok except for the ones she is about to talk about, and moonstone, and emeralds, of course.

Anyway. Master also brought her back something very special. It’s a hematite necklace that she can actually wear with her collar! Hematite is one of her favorite rock/stones as it’s very grounding and calming not to mention the many other positive qualities that is has. The necklace is beautiful and deidre can’t wait until the first time she gets to wear it out with Master.

Eventually pics will be posted of these as well as the other things deidre has been gifted with recently.

Master's Return

OK, so now that you’ve read it from the perspective of deidre’s pussy, here’s the rest of how Master’s first night back was.

The day before Master had instructed her to prepare for Him in a special way. He left her clothing up to His slave’s judgement, but wanted her to bind her breasts tightly before she left to pick Him up at the airport.

His first flight out of LAX was delayed a bit so deidre had some extra time to prepare for Him. she wanted to do something special, something that He’d never see before, at least not with deidre. In the Florida Room/Work shop is a big roll of industrial clear plastic rap. deidre’s plan was to wear only plastic wrap and maybe her crotch belt and harness.

Have you ever tried to wrap yourself in plastic wrap? It’s not that easy. OMG deidre must’ve looked hilarious trying to roll around on the wrap that she had spread out over the bed. she wanted it to be tight around her waist and her breasts, just like a corset (sort of) Well, it didn’t work.

So she switched to Plan B. Daddy’s little girl. she hopped in the shower and washed her body with baby wash, dried off, parted her hair down the middle, braided it, put on her little pleated purple skirt, slid her white ruffly sox onto her feet and stepped into her mary janes. she did her make up, brushed her teeth, and all of that other boring stuff.

Finally it was almost time to leave. deidre got out some white rope from the bondage closet and started to wrap her tits tightly. she put her shirt on and realized that one doesn’t really end up with much cleavage peeking out of the neckline when their tits are tied, but even so she really liked how it looked.

she had to drive through the pick up area 3 times because the dumb narky guys wouldn’t let her just sit there and wait no matter how many times she batted her eyelashes prettily at them.

Finally, there He was. Master. Safe and in 1 piece after 2 whole weeks away from His pet. He even did His own laundry while He was away * gasp * Yeah, really. He put His stuff in the car and We/we drove home.

Evidently Master missed the pool more than deidre’s pussy so that’s where He went first, out for a swim. While He was out there A. called just to say "hi" Master came back in at the tail end of the conversation and they got to speak for the first time. Understandably A was nervous, but it all went well and they’ve talked several times since then. deidre finds herself getting more and more excited, but is trying to control it.

After they finished talking, Master told deidre to turn on the overhead lights over the dining room table. At some point her shirt had been removed so she was now only wearing her purple pleated skirt, her frilly socks, her mary janes and a nice little bit of rope tied tightly around her purple breasts.

He had her bend over the table pushing down on her swollen breasts (ouch) with her legs spread wide. deidre felt His hand against her cunt feeling for how wet she was. For a moment He stood there caressing her ass cheeks and as hard as deidre tried to fight it she began to cry. she was dreading the pain. she’d gone for 2 weeks without it and even though she was only to receive a spanking she was afraid of even that little bit of pain. she didn’t want Him to stop, she just felt that panic building up in her. Then He began. He started lightly and then built it up to the point where deidre’s tears were just beginning to catch in her eyelashes. Then He stopped and told her that she was a good girl.

Next He had her crawl on top of the table, lie down on her back, and spread her legs wide. He wanted to take a look at His slut’s cunt with the pretty little piercings. He liked them very much (pictures will be taken again once the camera returns from Canon fix it land). It felt a bit like some kind of gyno/interrogation fantasy. The lights were on full and burning into deidre’s eyes, she was spread wide open being poked and prodded with Master’s fingers. Then He told her to cum for Him. He wanted her to masturbate and cum several times, then He was going to take her into the bedroom.

deidre really enjoys the sound of her rings tinking against each other as she rubs her clit. Master’s fingers slid inside her, 2 in her hungry little pussy hole and 1 up inside her ass. He fucked her that way while she took herself through 3 wonderful orgasms. When He was finished with her He allowed her to lick her fingers clean and to suck her juices off of His as well. Then He led her into the bedroom for the real fun.

Of course, His cock was hard. It had been since deidre picked Him up at the airport, and deidre’s cunt was slobbering juice down her thighs. she was ready. He was ready. Together We/we got onto the bed and deidre sunk down onto His cock for the first time in forever. she rode Him slowly at first, savoring that feeling of fullness and the slow pressure of His cock head against her back wall. He had her adjust just a little into a position that didn’t irritate the rings. deidre looked a bit strange probably, riding Him in a weird little squat, but it felt so good. Hearing His soft manly moans and sharp intakes of breath was heaven as was telling Him how much she missed feeling Him inside.

Neither Master nor deidre came that way though, the position was just too awkward, but He did allow her to get down between His legs and suck more of her fuck juice off of Him before getting down to business and worshiping Him with her mouth. It didn’t take long before He was telling His little bitch to beg for His cum, and then shooting that wonderful load into her throat. she swallowed it all down and then was allowed to cuddle with Him, lying in His arms for a few minutes afterward.

deidre asked Him if He had missed His pussy. He said that He had. It’s the only way that He can feel her wrapped around Him all at once like that. But what about her asshole? Doesn’t her asshole wrap around Him the same way that her pussy does? Evidently not. He says that her asshole has that tight ring at the entrance that squeezes around Him acting like a vice and it makes it difficult to cum. Ha!! deidre’s ass is so tight that it makes cumming difficult!! she loves it. Here she is worrying that as she gets older her body is becoming less satisfying when really He’s just happy with her all along.

Things are slowly settling back to normal. Not being able to take up the entire bed as she sleeps is hard to get used to and Xavia is pissed because Master is sleeping in her spot, but it’s so good to have Him home again, to hear His voice and to know that He’s right there if deidre wants to touch Him or just kneel quietly at His side.

Sigh. Life is good.

mmmmmmmmmmmm............

She was famished, ravenous. She would try to distract herself but her primary thought was meat. She could almost feel it. A nice big piece of meat. She wanted it so badly. She was throbbing with hunger.

Finally all of the circumstances were just right and she watched as it came closer. It seemed as if it had been forever since the last time she felt full. she was drooling. Finally she felt it against her lips, pressing between, and then sliding in.

Hot wet tight pussy wrapped around cock.

Finally.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this special news bulletin
………………………………..

Today is happy pussy day!

Yes, finally, after months of waiting for her cunt piercings to heal, deidre will have the wonderful honor of feeling Master’s cock in her cunt fucking her like the little whore she loves to be.

……………………………….

We now return you to your scheduled programming, already in progress…

Gifts, Sex and Route 66

deidre was hoping that the digital camera would be back from Canon so that she could take pics of her presents, but it’s not yet, and deidre looks like a chipmunk in the little movie she made so she isn’t going to post it. she’ll try to re-do it on Monday. Maybe the camera will be back by then and she won’t have to.

she woke up early that morning. she was so excited about the things that were planned, and she was uncharacteristically thirsty. deidre started to get up to go and get some OJ, but Master decided that He would get it for her. Since Master has never offered to get deidre a drink while We/we were at home she figured that something must be up. He brought her a little glass of OJ, and told her to go back to sleep. Some orders, like falling back asleep on her birthday, deidre just can’t seem to follow, but she stayed in bed like a good girl. Within just a few moments deidre could hear the sound of scissors and paper and knew that Master had waited until the last moment to wrap her presents.

deidre stayed in bed only for about 5 minutes after the sounds of wrapping were finished and then she begged Master to please be allowed to get up. There was a stack of prettily wrapped gifts on the glass table in the living room. Master asked her if she’d like to open them right away, and because she’s a dumb-ass sarcastic little bitch she said that she would prefer to wait until noon. He said ok, and deidre was forced to wait.

Finally, after breakfast and coffee, noon rolled around and deidre was allowed to open them. From isabellaval deidre received a copy of both The Trainer and The Academy, which are books 3 and 4 in the Marketplace series.

From slave_karirenee, deidre received a copy of the movie The Piano as well as it's soundtrack. There are a few reasons why it’s one of deidre’s favorite movies. First, it’s just a darn good story. Second, the music is incredible. Third has something to do with Master’s recent trip to Oklahoma and Kansas. While He was away deidre borrowed The Piano from the library and watched it. she was sitting back minding her own business, and missing Master when all of the sudden she saw something familiar on the screen. It was a scene where Harvey Keitel was nude, facing away from the camera. Well, surprisingly, Master and Mr. Keitel have the exact same ass!! It was the perfect thing to see at the time and made her feel quite a bit better.

deidre couldn’t exactly open it, but from slavemasterd she received the final amount so that she could have her first waist-training corset made.

deidre’s bathroom is decorated in Rubber Duckies. It started with just one that she brought with her from California. Her first rubber ducky had been a gift from deidre’s mother when she was pregnant for the first time. For some crazy reason deidre decided that this ducky needed to come with her in the limited number of things that she had room to bring when she moved to Florida. For months He sat forgotten in a box in the closet until one day deidre rediscovered him. From that point forward his new home was on the rim of the tub against the back wall.

A few months later Master and His deidre were in Bed, Bath and Beyond looking for a new shower curtain when We/we stumbled across happy little rubber ducky shower curtain hooks and bought a blue shower curtain to go with it.

When deidre’s 27th birthday rolled around the little money subbie that she had, browsed her wish list on Amazon and decided to send her a ducky bathmat and soap dish.

After the pool was complete, Master and deidre found a giant rubber ducky at the grocery store and bought her so that she could live in the backyard.

Then at Christmas-time deidre’s mom, knowing that the original rubber ducky that she gave deidre started it all, gave her these little duckies that suction cupped onto the shower wall.

At this point deidre figured that she probably had enough rubber duckies. Evidently K, Master’s brother didn’t agree. 4 of the gifts that were on the table the morning of deidre’s birthday were stuffed with rubber duckies. There were Halloween duckies, Pirate Duckies, Birthday Ducks and even little baby glow in the dark Halloween duckies. deidre’s favorite is the one that is dressed up to look like a black cat. It has little black ears and whiskers on either side of his ducky beak. she also has what appears to be a lifetime supply of ducky post it notes and ducky tattoos.

From Master deidre received a few things off of her wish list including a new book of sheet music so that she can play twangy country songs on her guitar, a beautiful silver belly button shield, copies of 2 of her other favorite movies, Memphis Belle and Very Bad Things, and of course deidre’s wonderful trip to BigCatRescue.

After cleaning everything up We/we got ready to go to the cat place. Which was a blast. One day she swears she’ll stop writing about it and boring you all to death. After the big cat place We/we drove over to the Apple Store so that deidre could have a little lesson in iMovie so that she could start making naughty videos for her customers. she learned quite a bit and can’t wait to get some made.

We/we were going to go out to eat in Tampa, but it was getting late and the dogs needed to eat and be let out so We/we drove back home before going out to dinner. We/we had a Calamari appetizer, Cheesy biscuits, Caesar salad, salmon, steamed veggies and drinks served to Us/us by the most wonderfully witty and hot waitress that deidre has had, ever.

Melina was just incredible. She has one of those personalities that makes her seem as if she fears nothing. she joked with us and had quick little smart-ass comments. There was just something about her that deidre can’t describe. Melina seemed perky and fun, but not in a cheerleader kind of way. she was perfectly spunky. Master wasn’t attracted to her at all, but enjoyed watching deidre’s reaction to her. This girl didn’t have a chance to go back last Monday to see her, but will probably do so this coming Monday. There’s just one little problem. deidre’s been speaking with a sweet, very cute potential slave sister and now feels slightly guilty about going out and hitting on another girl. A. says that she has no problem with it, but deidre’s little conscious is giving her trouble. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens on Monday.


Master's trip is going well. He started in Chicago and drove down through Saint Louis, into Kansas, then through Oklahoma and Texas, over to New Mexico, stopped to see bella_de_vil, celticslave, and cowboy_m. Today He was in Arizona. Along the way Master and His brother have been stopping and all kinds of Route 66 restaurants and little touristy things including The Launching Pad Restaurant, the arch in Saint Louis, The town where K was born, Some Cavern in New Mexico (she thinks), Roswell, a giant crater, Phoenix and Sedona in Arizona. They are having a wonderful time, and Master was kind enough to send her a post card or two.

Master will be back in just under 5 days. deidre can’t wait to see Him again. Once He returns deidre’s cunt will finally be fuckable!! she cannot wait to feel that sensation of His cock sliding into her for the first time again and then to feel His cock pounding in and out of her. deidre’s little pussy is just so happy.

deidre’s been neglecting her lj, at least putting something important here. The thing is that she’s lonely without Master. It’s almost as if when He left He took most of deidre with Him and all that’s left is this empty feeling shell. Without Him here there just doesn’t seem to be as much purpose. What’s the point of being a deidre with no Master Lee? It’s like watching your favorite movie, but in black and white and with no sound. It’s not the same. It’s flat. It’s blah. It’s pointless.