a flaw?

Sometimes it is so difficult to obey, or rather to keep herself from disobeying. Every once in a while there is something that deidre is compelled to do and she wants to so badly that she finds herself trying to find ways to get around it, ways to tweak the meaning of the order so that she can do it anyway and claim ignorance, “but Master, deidre thought You meant….” Then she feels like such a horrible slave for thinking those things, for being willfully disobedient in thought, even if not in action. Does it count if one thinks it then doesn’t act upon it? Isn’t one mark of a well trained slave being totally controlled, completely submissive to Him in every way possible including every thought? Do other slaves do this or is deidre just flawed?