SlaveMasterD ~ Thank You so much for Your wonderful gift and contribution to deidre's corset fund. You've helped her a great deal toward her goal and she will be sure to send You lots of photos of her waist training progress once she finally has the corset.
“If you could choose only one, would you rather be loved or owned?”
This question is so hard to answer. She would love to be able to say that being owned is the more important, she is a slave after all, but she would be lying. So much of what she does for Master, the watersports, the enemas, being available for Him whenever even when she feels grumpy or when it’s 3 o’clock in the morning (and she’s still grumpy), especially discipline, would be near impossible for her if she didn’t know that Master loved her and that she loves Him.
Sometimes, usually when she is hanging from the chains, or tied down to the bed, she feels so scared that she can’t help but sit there between strokes of the * fill in appropriate instrument of discipline here * and think why do you let Him do this to you? Why do you subject yourself to this pain? It’s always only momentary, and it happens just before that moment of mental surrender, a moment of breaking maybe, but then she answers herself “It’s because He loves you, and because you love Him and that love is worth more than anything else in the world”
deidre has thought about it, and she doesn’t honestly know if she could do it for anybody else. If something ever happens to Him, and she has to be without Him, she couldn’t ever trust anyone else again enough to give herself over so completely. she lived without being owned for almost 25 years, she could do it for another 25 years or longer if she had to.
The wonderful thing though, is that deidre doesn’t have to choose. she has both now in the most perfect balance.
“Your collar and cuffs are so beautiful! Does your master ever remove them, are they comfortable to wear, do you ever forget you're wearing them?”
Thank you! deidre loves that they are not typical and can be worn in public as an almost industrial style of jewelry. Although many people mistake them as Eternity Collar creations, the collar, wristlets and anklets all came from DomWolf.com
The collar has only been removed once since she became His slave. One night deidre had WAY too much to drink, came home and ended up worshiping the porcelain goddess for most of the night. Master was kind enough to remove it to relieve the feeling of being choked by it. He did put it back on first thing in the morning after she woke up.
Only one of the wristlets has been removed since He gave them to her. Before jada was released from her last visit deidre was allowed to loan her one to take back with her. Now jada has it on her right wrist as a sort of friendship/sister bracelet accompanying her temporary collar.
The anklets were only on for a day or so. Deidre doesn’t know if they were ordered too small or if the design is flawed, but the hinges are positioned so that they are at the front and back of the ankle. The ones over her Achilles tendon rubbed so much that she was left with raw spots and barely able to limp around the house with the anklets on. Master was kind enough to remove them and has only had her wear them once or twice since.
deidre has been asked to remove the collar and wristlets at places like the airport and courthouse, but once she shows them that she can’t because they’re locked on they simply use the wand on her instead. Just in case, she always carries a spare key in her organizer.
The collar is extremely comfortable, but she never really forgets that it is there. she is constantly fidgeting with the collar, rubbing it or making sure that it is adjusted so the hinges are on the right and left of her neck. Master also has her hold onto it with her left hand when she is masturbating for His pleasure.
The wristlets are very comfortable as well. They are constantly sliding up and down her wrists and arm depending upon what she is doing, and even after wearing them for so long she ends up knocking them up against the wall all of the time when turning around the corner. The only time they are uncomfortable is when she is spanking her ass with her hand for a Caller. With every spank the steel bangs up against the top of her hand. If she is instructed to spank enough it will leave a little bruise. Master uses the wristlets at night when He binds her, clipping them together in front.
deidre has had them for so long that being without them would make her feel less than whole. Even being without the right one while jada is wearing it gives her that same feeling, but she feels better knowing that her sister is taking good care of it and that once jada is collared and has her own set of wristlets, deidre will have her other one back with part of her sister’s being imprinted onto it.
“Do you ever want to marry your master? Being a very good slave, I'm sure you would marry him if he ordered you to, but is it something you actively want and dream about?”
Yes, deidre would marry Him even without an order if He asked and she had romantic hopes that one day He would after she first became His, but there are many reasons why it just wouldn’t be appropriate in this situation. (thank you for the compliment of being a good slave BTW)
Firstly, Master has never been married and has no desire to be married. One of the main purposes of marriage is to create a healthy foundation for a family. In deidre’s mind this puts the Mother and Father at the top on an equal level as caretakers and providers for the children. With no desire for children there is no need to begin to build this foundation.
As a slave, deidre is far from equal to Master as well. It is one of the reasons that she speaks in 3rd person, so that she can always remember who she is, and her position in His life, keeping the focus away from herself and instead placing it on Him where it belongs.
Secondly, if deidre was to marry Master, then a 3rd slave is collared and is supposed to feel as an equal to deidre, the fact that she is married to Master sort of negates that equality. The sister could never legally marry Master while He is married to deidre, and down the road that could lead to problems, jealousy, feelings of favoritism etc.
Instead, since deidre and her sister are equals, ideally, the two of us would have a sweet little lesbian marriage/handfasting/sistering ceremony to tie us together. deidre and Master have discussed it in a general way without coming to any conclusions, but deidre sees it a little like this:
It’s night time. The fireplace is lit casting dancing partners of shadow and light across 2 3’ x 3’ pillows placed on the floor. There are candles lit as well.
The air is crisp with excitement and expectancy. 2 beautiful slaves immerge walking in time to one another. Their wrists are crossed at the small of their backs, their eyes are downcast as they walk slowly toward the 2 pillows. They each drop to their knees in front of Master, slowly sliding their hands, palm down along the fabric until they are bowing down to Master with their asses high in the hair, legs slightly spread, arms stretched out in front with hands overlapping. Their faces are obscured by their long brown hair.
For a moment or two Master gazes down at the two of them, His eyes taking in every part of both of His slaves. He places one of His hands on each of them between their shoulder blades and commands them to kneel up and face each other, holding each other’s hands.
He says something like “Above you are the stars, below you are the stones, as time passes, remember like a stone should your love be firm like a star should your love be constant. Let the powers of the mind and of the intellect guide you, let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy, and the strength of your dedication to me make you inseparable. Possess one another, yet be understanding. Have patience with one another, for storms will come, but they will pass quickly. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease.”
Master will then have them each lie down on their pillows much in the way that they would using a double headed dildo and bring their little cunts close enough so that he can thread a ribbon through their newly heeled labia piercings. There will be 3 on each lip and one on the hood of their clits for a total of 7 each. The ribbon will loop through the 4 (2 on each of us) closest to our assholes, then the middle set, then the highest set before Master makes one more loop through the hood piercing and ties them together with a pretty little bow.
Then He says, “As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. As the Air you breathe brings you life, may you always speak truthfully to one another. (For truly does each falsehood act as a little death).As the Fire of love burns within you, may you always find a spark even in your anger. (For without Love, we are but weak shadows upon the stones). As the Waters of life flow within your bodies, may your personal tides move in unison, and your emotions flow. (For Water contains life, sustains life, and without it we are but dry husks). As the Earth grounds and steadies you, may you always remain strong for one another. (For strength adds to strength and builds upon itself). All this do I charge you, for as long as you both live.”
Then Master will bless the union with His seed, stroking Himself until His cum falls onto both of them.
Master will leave them this way for a while, bound together enjoying the feeling of not being able to do even the simplest thing without it affecting the other, if deidre moves it affects jada and vice versa symbolizing their connection and how they will affect each other with both thought and action for the rest of their lives.
Ok, so deidre got a little off track, and is kind of making it up as she goes, but that’s what happens. Tomorrow, Question 2 from ravenna.
"Do you ever fantasize about having a baby? Is that something that you have ever discussed with Master?"
deidre spent the first 24 years of her life wanting a child. A sweet little girl who would be Madilyn Alexis or a beautiful baby boy who would be Tristan Gawain. After many years of trying with her ex she finally did get pregnant and was incredibly happy. It was what she had dreamed of since she was a little girl.
she made doctor’s appointments, stopped smoking and drinking, started eating very healthily and even forced her ex to clean the litter box just to make sure that nothing would harm her little baby.
Then it came time for the first sonogram. N. took the morning off work so that he could come with deidre. she got undressed put on the paper gown and got up onto the exam table.
The doctor came in and did all of his normal prelim stuff, then it was finally time. He put some of that funky gel stuff on the sonogram instrument, had deidre spread her legs and put her heels in the little metal things so that he could have easy access and slid the instrument up inside.
deidre and N. could see the screen and the picture but couldn’t make anything out. After a few moments the doctor finally said “I can’t seem to find it” moved the instrument around some more and then finally pulled it out. By this point deidre knew. Something was wrong. Her heart was breaking.
The doctor explained that there was no fetus. Somehow her body was going through all of the motions of being pregnant, but the fetus must’ve been absorbed by the baby because there was something wrong with it.
He told deidre that in the next few weeks her body would be shedding everything and she would have a miscarriage. There would be no reason to go to the ER unless the pain was really bad.
Within a few days it happened, but until then she had somehow hoped that the doctor had been wrong, or made a mistake and that she would carry through with the pregnancy to have her longed for beautiful child.
Things weren’t ever quite the same after that. It took deidre over a year to get over her loss. she didn’t show it outwardly, but every once in a while she would just break down.
Then one day she went to the grocery store and found this poor little shit covered flea ridden 5 week old Siamese kitten to take home, love and cherish. She was so small she even needed to be bottle fed. Moonshadow filled that hole in deidre’s heart that had been left by her miscarriage.
Life as a slave, devoting herself totally to Master, and keeping Him as her one and only focus sort of rules out the possibility of having or trying for another child.
When deidre was pregnant the second time, she fantasized about it, but then realized that it really wouldn’t work. Since then she has no desire to have a child, only to be Master’s slave and to please Him with her total focus where it belongs.
Firstly, Master has never wanted one. He’s just not the Fatherly type (the perfect Daddy for deidre, but not really paternal).
Secondly, with a child in the house who needs to nurse, who has to have diapers changed, who cries, and needs to be held and nurtured, Master would become second. And that kind of defeats the purpose of being a Master and having a slave. Not to mention how her life would change in other ways. she would basically have to revert to being a submissive in the bedroom, or when the child is at school, and a mom the rest of the time. No more being naked, no more bowing, no more speaking in the third person or getting down on her knees to worship Master at any point during the day that He desires
"Have you ever fantasized about Master 'Pimping you out' or lending you to one of his friends? How would you feel if he did?"
Yes, deidre has fantasized about being lent or sold to others. Not to His friends, but to others. Master has even discussed it with a few of her Callers and some people on Collarme.
He has incredibly strict rules though that usually seem to scare those interested off, making it seem like it is more trouble than it is worth for a piece of snatch.
If Master did ever find someone that would meet all of His demands, and He let deidre be a little whore for Him, deidre would love it. she’d be doing something to please Him.
Besides there is something so incredibly erotic about making someone, male or female, cum. Knowing that they are doing so because of you, because of your mouth, ass or pussy, or simply because you have given yourself to them. It must be a submissive thing, but really, getting to have someone’s cum is one of the highest compliments that deidre can think of for a slave. It is the physical evidence of their pleasure.
"Tell us about your first 'enjoyable' sexual encounter. The one where you knew that cock, pussy, and ass would be something at the forefront of your life forever."
Hmmm….deidre’s first ENJOYABLE sexual encounter. Let’s see. she was 17, it was her last semester of High School. she’d moved back to her childhood home and was around all of the people she grew up with and went to school with up until the time she moved to Northern California 2 years previous.
deidre had been out of touch with most of her friends while she was going to her other school, but it was fun to reunite with them when she moved back. Especially her ex-boyfriend, Mike. Mike was currently dating deidre’s former best friend Lisa, but it didn’t seem to matter much. He was deidre’s first and he always would have a special connection with her and always said that the reverse was true.
Whenever deidre was having issues, couldn’t sleep or was just strait up bored, she would walk the 3 blocks to Mike’s house, knock on his door and hang out for a while. One night deidre’s former crush, Eddy, was there as well. The 2 of them were smoking pot so deidre decided to try too. she’s pretty sure that she didn’t do it right and it didn’t have much of an effect, but it was an excuse to let her inhibitions go.
We went inside and got naked. deidre laid down on the couch and Mike came over with His cock already nice and hard. He let deidre suck it for a while before getting on top of her and starting to fuck her. Now, this was not the good part. Mike basically put it in and started rutting. It didn’t’ feel good at all. In fact, because he was rather well endowed, it hurt, very badly. deidre started to cry and Eddy stepped in.
He had deidre get off of the couch and lie on the floor instead and told Mike to watch how it was really supposed to be done. Eddy spread her legs wide and buried his face in her cunt and began to go down on her. deidre had never had anyone do that before and it felt so good to feel him licking her, pushing his tongue up inside and flicking over her clit. Once her pussy was incredibly wet he had deidre get onto her hands and knees and pushed his cock into her from behind, fucking her nice and hard until he was ready to cum. Just before he pulled out and shot all over her ass and back.
Now, deidre didn’t exactly come to the conclusion that cock, pussy and ass would be as important as they are now at this point. That didn’t happen for almost 10 years later. After all, deidre did try to be a good girl. she tried to be the wife, mother and daughter that everyone expected her to be, it just wasn’t deidre. A girl can’t spend her entire life acting.
As far as pussy goes, deidre didn’t even have her first real taste until she was 24. She’s written before about how wonderful it was to make Carrie cum, about how Carrie sounded so fucking hot just before saying “uh hu” over and over and then squirting her juices. It was deidre’s former playmate and Dom who introduced deidre to cunt for the first time and she’s never been the same since.
To be honest, having deidre’s ass fucked and enjoying it is a very recent thing. If you take something big, like a cock, and stick it up side a tight little hole like that it’s going to hurt. If nobody ever takes the time to teach you that it can feel good, or to tell you to relax, it’s going to hurt. Until Master, deidre’s ass was just another hole for a cock to go into, and it always hurt bad enough that she became terrified of anal sex. Fortunately Master helped her work out of it so that she can now be the little ass whore that she was meant to be and enjoy every second of it.