Lately there seem to be a lot of thought provoking statements and questions being posted in relation to submission. It seems a little unfair to go into a big long drawn out response in someone else’s blog so deidre is doing it here.
First of all, in deidre’s opinion, the difference between a submissive and a slave is simple. As she wrote in response to bella_de_vil it is the word ‘no’. If a person can say the word no and expect it to mean anything, then that person is not a slave, unless of course that person has been * given * the privilege of doing so. If the person says no simply as a way to receive punishment then that person is essentially topping from below, trying to control the relationship, which boils down to a lack of honesty and openness. THAT’s a big no-no in a M/s relationship.
This post isn’t here to say that submissives are better than slaves or vice versa. One cannot be a slave without also being submissive. Different people have different needs and desires. To each, his or her own as long as the person is being honest about who or what they are to themselves and to the other(s) in the relationship. In the end they are just titles, just words.
That being said, deidre will go ahead and label herself anyway. she is a slave. The last real independent choice she made was long before Master put His collar around her neck. Any "choices" since then have either been eliminated or been made with Master’s guidance or His preferences or needs in mind. No "choice" has been made that would be against what He wants.
deidre says that she has no limits because she will not refuse her owner anything. His limits become her own, they change, they grow, they shift, but hers are always His. Anyone who gives themselves over as a slave without knowing this in advance is a fool. In 5 years when suddenly the Owner develops an interest in something that you said you’d never do, cutting, prostitution, water sports, bestiality, age-play etc what do you do? Do you say no, take off the collar and leave? Then you aren’t a slave, and you aren’t putting your Owners wants and needs before your own. The thought of leaving just doesn’t occur. Even if it does, as someone said in response to kaya’s post, the thought of leaving and the guilt and disappointment involved in such an action are worse than moving that boundary line.
Along with that giving up of boundaries comes a certain responsibility to the slave as well. Our owners don’t always know what we are thinking and feeling. Sometimes it doesn’t matter, but there are times when it does. Times when it is appropriate to say or signal that something is wrong. We have a responsibility to inform them when damage might be done just as we would if the water heater breaks or the computer is making a funny sound.
Slaves are property and because we must be pleasing in every way possible we must not allow ourselves to be put into a state that diminishes our ability to serve if that is not our Owner’s desire. This isn’t saying no, it’s equivalent to the engine warning light coming on in your car. It can be ignored, and possibly lead to the car being ruined, or it can be used as a sign to ensure that the care continues to run as well as possible for as long as possible.
We may happen to think and have the ability to express our feelings, but we are still property, we are owned, and we are valuable to our owners because we function well and meet their needs. If we refuse to adapt when their needs change we loose value. deidre spent far too long being a worthless wife to ever want to be a slave in less than mint condition.
